As a mother and a teacher, I know that I have my hands full. My children are always watching me and I know that I am their role model which is why I tread lightly. I know what they see me doing has an impact on them. This is why many times, when I’m with my kids, I unplug from social media. I have heard many people say, “You can’t unplug, you must always stay connected.” I beg to differ. I believe that you can still have an online influence and impact, but still take time to unplug. You need it for yourself and for your family and here’s why and how to do it:
Your Kids Need You NOW!
Your kids need to feel validated and valued. You will N-E-V-E-R get this time back with them. As an online writer yes, it’s my job to write and stay connected, but as a mother it’s my job to make my children feel as important as my work. There needs to be a fine balance and you need to be conditioned and disciplined enough to know when to say, “My time is spent with my family.”
Set Time Limits/Constraints:
So at the dinner table, it’s a definite NO! Social media absolutely takes a back seat because at this time you are enjoying the company of your family. At any meal I should add, it’s a definite NO! You want this time to be intimate and for your children to share with you how their day was and what’s on their mind.
Children Continue the Cycle:
As children get older parents wonder why their kids are always on the phone and don’t want to be around them. What was modelled for them, they walked away with and now apply to their own lives. Children will mimic the same behaviours as their parents. You DO NOT want to continue this vicious cycle of thinking this is the way a relationship is held: online. We want our children to have those “real life”, face to face connections. You want them to be able to express themselves further than an emoji. You want them to NOT have to take to their Facebook status to express themselves but to do it verbally or easily through written word.
As I sit back and observe many parents at the park with their children, I see less and less interaction. Instead of going to the park and playing with and running around with their child they are stuck on their phones. From a distance, you may see the child observing them and wondering… why isn’t Mami or daddy paying me any attention?
What are we really showing our children? We have to hold ourselves accountable when we see our own kids exhibiting these behaviours that we have modelled. Right from the start we need to set the tone for social media with our children. For me, I can’t say that I am perfect but I do know when enough is enough. Even including my kids in my social media posts has decreased for me because I want them to know that they should live in the moment. Not every waking hour needs to be documented on social media. Lately, I feel I have been extremely disconnected from my online world, but this allows my children to see that balance and to know that life is not all about social media, even of you make a living from it. It’s about living life. Modeling to your child when to stop and live is far better than allowing them to see what you will Snapchat next, tweet next or even update as your Facebook status.
My advice …Live in the moment with your children and get off that phone!