How to get kids to do their chores the Mary Poppins way

Let’s face it, she didn’t do it with “just a spoonful of sugar”.

So how did Mary Poppins get the children to do their chores, communicate with their parents and decide exactly how they want to invest their money?

What lessons can we learn, as parents?

And how do we apply those lessons in an age where our kids are more tech-savvy than ever before?

Stripping aside the animations and gimmicks, it comes down to one simple lesson. She gave the children a higher level of responsibility than most of us are comfortable with.

• She didn’t say, “do this because I told you to.”
• She didn’t say, “I’ve got too much to do, just go and watch TV for a while.”
• She didn’t say, “will you stop playing with that?!” (The modern day equivalent of getting off your phone.)

So how did she do it?!

Well, she taught them practical life lessons in an imaginative way that engages kids. But Mary (and her magic) made it look easy. There are a number of reasons why we, as parents, are struggling in a changing world.

We don’t have the time anymore.

It’s not our fault! Despite the work-life balance we are addressing, working parents still don’t feel they have enough family time for a number of reasons, including screen time. Some studies suggest parents spend more time with their kids than ever before — yet this is still an issue.

The percentage of children living in households where both parents are working was at a record high of 57.4% from April to June in 2016. While there are undeniably positive benefits in being part of a working household, families are also feeling the pressures that come with it.

For example, only one in five families said they have the right balance between time (to spend with family) and money (earning or having enough income) to see their family thrive.

How can we teach our kids to manage their screen time if we are struggling to balance our own time? Perhaps that is the first step. To improve our own time-management so that our kids can follow suit. (Easier said than done, I know!)

Technology can have a negative impact on our imaginations.

There are two sides of the coin on this point. On the one hand, technology has pushed us further than ever in terms of possibilities and achievements. The saying”nothing is impossible” is truer today than it ever was.

On the other hand, constant stimulants in the form of TV, film, social media and video games can limit our imaginations. Boredom and imagination are an important one-two-punch to spur child development. As a result of overstimulation, our kids’ ability to use their imagination and think creatively is diminished.

As Nancy H. Blakey said,

“Preempt the time spent on television and organized activities and have them spend it instead on claiming their imaginations. For in the end, that is all we have. If a thing cannot be imagined first — a cake, a relationship, a cure for AIDS– it cannot be.

Life is bound by what we can envision. I cannot plant imagination into my children. I can, however, provide an environment where their creativity is not just another mess to clean up but welcome evidence of grappling successfully with boredom.

It is possible for boredom to deliver us to our best selves, the ones that long for risk and illumination and unspeakable beauty. If we sit still long enough, we may hear the call behind boredom. With practice, we may have the imagination to rise up from the emptiness and answer.”

See our post on the incomparable benefit of unstructured play for more on that topic….

The politically correct movement has altered parents’ judgements

In a time where everything is monitored and uniformly PC, we don’t always exercise our full parental rights. At least, that’s what our recent study of Habyts users reported back to us. Some parents struggled to manage their child’s devices because their child wouldn’t let them.

This is what one parent has to say about that.

But we all know it can be harder than it looks, especially if you have complex kids or if the screen time battles have been raging for awhile.

So, how do we still apply Mary Poppins’ key lesson in giving our children a higher level of responsibility… despite our differences from the nanny who flew in on the wind one day?

Well a study in the Journal of the Society for Psychological Anthropology on Responsibility in Childhood proposes three keystone properties:

1. Social awareness
2. Social responsiveness
3. Self-reliance.

All of which are heavily impacted by technology.

The study argues that a child’s routine work at home “enables not only social but also moral responsibility, in the form of respectful awareness of and responsiveness to others’ needs and reliance on knowledge that takes into consideration others’ judgments.”

If we could sum it up in a nutshell?

It’s not just about telling our kids to get off their screens anymore. It’s not about limiting their screen time because we can. It’s about explaining how their use of screen time is affecting everyone in the family in a way that gives them responsibility for their actions.

This doesn’t mean we have to constantly lecture them about their use of screens. I tried that tactic for a long time and I know it didn’t work for me. Instead, we can use descriptive praise to encourage them to build healthy screen time habits.

Sometimes I think we don’t credit kids with the emotional and rational intelligence they have already learnt at their age. The power of descriptive praise is one I have tried to use ever since, though even as a parent I find it difficult at times.

I think it’s time we sit down with our kids and have a genuine, positive discussion about why we are introducing screen time boundaries, for the benefit of EVERYONE in the family.

We might have to face some uncomfortable truths about our own screen time habits. It might also mean we have to have a few difficult family discussions that result in tears (from either parent or child).

But hey, we can’t all be practically perfect in every way.

All we can do is try to find a solution that helps us manage our screen time as a family and teaches our children responsibility along the way.

If you are ready to look for a screen time solution that could work for your family, take a look at our guide on how to choose the right digital tools for you.

Or ask us in the comments below what we would recommend when it comes to looking for a screen time solution.